Psychotherapy
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Blog (by JH, no AI)

Thoughts on Psychotherapy

Blog | Dr. Jamey Hecht | Beverly Hills, CA
 
Posts tagged self love
Survival vs. Growth

Surviving is a lot easier if you have a reason to survive. But even if you have no reason at the moment, it is still your job to survive while you search for one. It is your job to become a happier man or woman, more and more capable of loving self-acceptance. You must grow, because that is what human beings are here to do. You do not have to become perfect. Even if you never accomplish anything—and you will accomplish plenty—you are worthy of love just as you are right now. Even if only a tiny part of you realizes that, you can make it. You don’t need a reason to love yourself.  You don’t need an excuse to love yourself. You don’t need permission to love yourself. You don’t need to meet criteria to love yourself. It isn't achieved by striving, because it is the necessary baseline above which all striving occurs. It's achieved by letting go: you are already a living organism on this planet; therefore, loving-self-acceptance is already within you somewhere. Shift it into the center.

Does loving yourself feel selfish? How about breathing? Does breathing feel selfish, too? A good cliché can help here. Recall the old saw about the oxygen mask on the plane: you have to put on your own mask first, so you don’t pass out while trying to get your kid’s mask onto his little face. As with breathing, so with love: you first, so you have the strength to help others next.

Self Love Is the Root of Success

Loving Self-Acceptance is the Key to Success in All Things 

...Including Addiction Recovery.


Loving-self-acceptance is not a privilege. It is your right as a human being. It is the escape hatch from every prison. What you need—probably—is not discipline, pushing and shoving, and “tough love.” What you need is letting go, surrender, and kindness.

Suppose you're stuck in something (say, addiction, work-inhibition, or depression). Are you afraid that if you have mercy on yourself, you’ll become complacent and resigned, and not accomplish anything? That’s where you are nowMercy is the way out. The prison door of addiction/depression is closed, yes. But it isn’t locked.

Being kind and gentle to yourself is the beginning of wisdom. It will take you farther forward into a better life than you can currently imagine. Without it, very little good can come. With it, you have a chance—many chances—to build as good a life as the world will allow. And you can’t tell how good that is, until you experiment and try things, day after day, year after year. No matter how bad things get, they can still change. Even when things are good, they can get even better if you’re humble and brave and careful.